Top 10 Questions to ask Your Potential Host Family

There are a lot of factors that go in to picking up and moving to another country. So, I’m sure you can imagine all of the factors that come into play when you also live with another family, and look after their children! If you ask me, the process of moving to foreign country is actually the easiest of the three. Living with another family, getting used to their busy schedule, their culture, their unique personalities, and working with children are the part that take a bit of a learning curve. This is why picking a host family that you click well with is so important. The best way to figure that out is by not being shy when getting to know your host family over skype.

Before I begin, I should probably disclose to you that I definitely did not become an au pair the traditional way (using an au pair matching site, emailing, skpeing, talking to the kids, etc). I was introduced to my host family through my friend who was their au pair. From there, I corresponded with my host mom only via email, until I actually landed in Australia. Luckily I knew a lot about the family from what my friend told me so I had an idea of how nice the family was and how great the kids were. Throughout my experience as an au pair, I learned about the process and the experience as a whole through my own experiences and through having other au pair friends. If I were to become an au pair again, these are the first questions I would ask when talking to my potential host family.

Just ask about them

You know those personal questions they tell you not to ask when on a corporate job interview? Yeah well forget all of that and just ask. Ask about their family, where they grew up, some of their favorite hobbies, if they like sports or art, if they have any pets, etc. This is your chance to get to know their personalities and see if you will click with them or not. Some families may have a nice house, live in the perfect location, or pay very well but if you don’t click well with the family, you or the family are bound to end up unhappy.

What will my accommodation be like?

This may be more important to some people than others depending on how long you plan to stay with the family. I was lucky enough to have a separate guest house with my own bathroom, living area, and kitchen. I loved having privacy and a space that felt like my own. Feel free to ask about anything that is important to you like how much natural night the room has, if you have your own bathroom, or even for a picture if you would like.

What are the working hours?

When working as an au pair, the working hours are usually not the typical 9-5. For example, I actually didn’t have any set hours when I took the job and looking back I would definitely suggest you clarify this before starting. My hours consisted of an hour or so in the morning and after school until bedtime most days. But, the days and hours varied depending on after school activities, sick days, the parents’ events such as meetings or dinners out. Clarifying this before you start will help you plan your time off better and prevent you being taken advantage of which unfortunately is quite common when it comes to au pair work.

What are some major cultural differences I should be aware of?

Whether these differences be in the culture of the country of you are visiting or just the culture of the family, it is important to know their culture to prevent insulting anyone. Researching the country is definitely a must but hopefully this question will give you a better idea of the culture from a local’s point of view.

Do you have any big plans during the time I will be with your family?

Luckily my host family’s only big plans while I was with them were to travel! I got to go to some amazing places with them like Hong Kong and Hawaii! Any other time they traveled on their own I stayed at home and traveled around on my own. With that being said, if they say they have plans to go travel on school holiday, just make sure you clarify if you are invited or not without being too forward. I also had a few friends who’s host family moved houses during their time which is another thing you would probably want to know before choosing them.

What is the food situation?

Are there any foods that are not allowed in the house? Allergies? Vegetarians? Their style of cooking (healthy, spicy, simple, etc)? What are you allowed to eat from the house? Will you do any of the cooking? These questions are VERY important to ask when finding a host family. I know it may be overlooked because people just see the phrase “room and board” and are satisfied with that. But, this is one of the main reasons au pairs have issues and leave their host families with a bad taste in their mouth – literally. Some times they feel judged for what they eat, are only allowed to eat a certain amount, are not allowed to eat with the family ( which is quite upsetting when they are your only family abroad), aren’t happy with the type of food the family eats, or in some cases even accused of ‘stealing’ food from the family because of a misunderstanding on what they are allowed to have. Clarifying this before you arrive can prevent some major misunderstandings and issues with the family.

Are there any house rules?

My host family didn’t have a specific set of house rules but I have quite a few friends who’s host family had a written set of house rules posted on the fridge. This is more common with families that have a lot of short term au pairs. Some of these rules consisted of things like having friends over, alcohol consumption, cleaning up after yourself and being tidy, no profanity, no loud music, etc. I would suggest getting these rules in writing in the contract so that you can review them at any time.

What do you expect from me?

An au pair not only looks after the kids, but also does chores for the kids. For example, along with just looking after the kids, I was also expected to pick them up from school and take them to their activities, make their lunches and breakfast, do their laundry, keep their bed room and toy room tidy, do their bath time, get them ready for bed, cook a couple times a week, go grocery shopping, and look after them when the parents had events for adults. Knowing exactly what is expected of you is the best way to remain happy while keeping your host family happy with the job that you are doing. This is another great thing to include in your contract.

What type of transportation will be accessible to me?

In my situation, I had access to a car which was very nice especially considering I was allowed to use it any time. We lived out in the country so there was no public transport. Most of my au pair friends lived near the city so they typically took public transport or an Uber. Some host families paid for the bus passes, others did not. This is also a great time to ask how easy it is to get around the city and the best transportation to use.

Finally, get it all in writing and ask for a contract.

Some au pair sites require a contract but if you find your host family through somewhere like Facebook, there aren’t any regulations. Speaking of Facebook, make sure to be extra careful if something seems too good to be true, chances are it is! Everything I listed above can be put into the contract except for maybe the first one! This agreement is helpful for both the host family and the au pair. The host family has a document in writing in case the au pair isn’t doing the job she agreed to do, and the au pair has a document to refer back to in case she is being asked more than agreed. Side note: this contract is a great way to stay on track but it’s important to remember that life (especially with kids) can be messy and unpredictable, so being flexible is a very useful quality when being an au pair!

I hope these tips on being an au pair are helpful to you. I know it in exciting and stressful time trying to plan to be an au pair. If you have more questions on life as an au pair, you can check out my other au pair posts here or check out my au pair tips on Pinterest. Good luck and happy travels!